“Oh, I don know Rube, we gonna need a lotta beer hey?”

            “Nah, we jus a gonna lease all dem skeeters on all dem trolls an take Detroit.  Then we take a whol’ army a da Upers outa Muskegon an we gonna drive our Ol’ chevies and we gonna take o’er da whole world den hey?”

            “Only iv you gonna gi me a beer den eh?”

            “Nah, youse gonna elp me, den we gonna go ta da bars hey?”

            “alright, but you be’’er get me dem beers an I’m hungry man.”

            Rube and Buck were just havin a normal day up in the state a superior.  They were ambitious for Upers.  Rube was born in da UP, havin been born in a barn.  Farmin ain’t good in da UP, but his pa said he gonna have a barn jus like in da ole country.

            They were headed for da bars when a deer ran into their car. 

“Hey, Rube, dat deer s drunker den we are hey?”

“No Buck, we ain’t even had a drink yet”

“Well I drunk enough last time to last til now”

“Well we better hurry, were almost to Christmas.”

“Well dat deer still in da way”

“Dats cause it’s dead, I got a knife wit me, we can take em to da bar”

“No I need a drink now man, we gonna jus leave em’”

“See Buck, dats whats wrong wid da world.  How would you feel if you couldn’t drink all da beer you wanted?  Init wrong ta just leave all dem Iraqers Dry like dat?  Don’t dey need a little beer too?”

“What’s ur point dere Rube?”

“Point is, we gotta save de world, we gonna bring beer and peace to da world eh?”    

As you can see these Upers really in a hurry to leave that buck behind.  Rube drove em all o’er to da docks.  Dey got da skeeters an dey took dem skeeters down ta da troll country, after dey was in da bars all night.  Dese skeeters were genetically modified skeeters, they were bigger ‘an B 52s.  These skeeters mowed right down Saginaw, and took out Ann Arbor, and Den down 94 to Detroit.  Skeeters were takin out houses left an’ right.  Back in Marquette, dey blockaded all da lakes, and fortified all da bars around.  

    In the next three weeks, dem genetically modified skeeters took da whole country.  Buck an Rube had W by the ear, an’ W said it was all deres.  So first dey commanded the mandatory realignment of beer trucks to Marquette.  Den dey took dere skeeter army to Canadia.  Dey took out dem Canucks faster den you could say Hockey.  Den dey took out da bloody british and da Frogs in France and da krauts in Germany, and da Swedes, and da Djiboutians, and da Chinese, all in da name a beer.  Rube an Buck went down in history, shoot, Buck walked on beer, and Rube came back from bein’ dead drunk.  Dey was more famous den Ghandi or W.  Now we can all live in good beerocracies like it shoulda been.  They had a sacred book called da Beerble.  It had a thousand an one recipes for da best beers in da world.

            As you can see, dis tale is a bit out a focus, but dat don’t matter.  What matters is dat da Upers win in da end and liberate all dem little countries who can’t afford lots a beer.  Ain’t no UN or US, just da UP.